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Walk…Sprint…Grinding Halt

Walk…Sprint…Grinding Halt

That seems to be the pattern of my spiritual walk these days.  Moments with steady progress that lead to a rapid acceleration and awesome revelation.  Then…nothing!

The best visual I can come up with to describe it is the difference between the slow creeping of a roller-coaster as it ascends the first hill; the sudden (but expected) increase in velocity that follows bringing with it a few surprising twists and turns; ending in the sudden, lurching stop at the end that takes away all of the momentum created by the ride.  Excitement lingers but disappointment that the ride is over quickly sets in.  Having known the joy of the ride and wanting to experience it once more, waiting to start again seems unbearable and you wish you could just stay in your seat and head back up that hill without going to the end of the line.

I ask myself why this cycle keeps repeating.  Why does the ride come to that grinding halt?  Why do I get off the ride and get back in a self-imposed line when I don’t have to?  I am openly frustrated by it and I’m pretty sure I am not the only Christian that experiences something similar.

I don’t think I am going out on a limb by saying that every Christian should hope for (and to certain extent expect) to encounter and hear from God each and every day.  So why don’t we (or why don’t I)?

Taking into account that God is…Omnipotent, Omniscient, Just, Merciful, All Loving, Omnipresent and everything else in between…It is safe to say that the issue is on my side and not His.

Hebrews 11:6 says that God rewards those who earnestly seek him.  Other translations say to sincerely or diligently seek.  Perhaps this is where I run into trouble.  Each one of these descriptions means something different that when put together shows a greater understanding for how we should approach God and our relationship with Him.

Earnestly – From an intense and serous state of mind

Sincerely – The absence of hypocrisy, feigning, or any falsifying embellishment or exaggeration

Diligently – Steady and energetic effort (also from the Latin “diligere” meaning to esteem or love)

This is how God deliberately said he wants me to seek him.  The Bible does not waist words and each one is measure with exact precision.  I’m sure that if I knew Hebrew and Greek better, the original text would lead me to a similar conclusion.  So God is expecting me to come to Him with a steady intensity that comes from a serious love for Him and from a place of open honesty where I take down my guard, free myself of all pretense and rhetoric and just be real.  When you think about it, not being sincere with God is foolish because I know that he searches my heart and knows my motives.  So why do I try to hide or deceive God?

If I look back at my seasons of rapid growth, they are the moments where I am the most “real” with not only God, but also those around me.  It is when I am vulnerable, consistent, and focused on how great my God is through honest worship.

I think and process information as I write so all of this has been hitting the page in “real time”.  It appears that I need to check my heart and make sure that my motives are pure, ridding myself of pride, doubt, fear, distractions and anything else that might keep me from seeking him properly.   Then I can get back on the roller-coaster and this time when the first ride is over, I’m not going to the back of the line and waiting, but instead heading right back up that hill.  After all…my “Dad” owns the ride and has a seat just for me.

  1. Amy
    July 15, 2010 at 12:04 am

    love love love it!! Love you honey!

  2. Dave
    July 15, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I looked up “Earnestly” in my “Vines Expository Dictionary” and used as a verb, the word means many things. The one that struck me was “To Stretch” and “Without Ceasing”. From the Greek word “Teino” that gives the idea of Tension. I’m sure this is the reason I have similar discomfort in my relationship with God that you do. It is not easy and it does not come naturally. What comes naturally for us as humans is sin, rebellion, and deception. We have to fight our sin nature daily to be in the loving, gracious, and forgiven presence of God. Just remember Doug, one day this will all be over and we will be home with our Father eating choice foods at the wedding banquet. We will be asking Moses to pass the potatoes, and passing Abraham the grean beans. Since the bible is silent much of the time about heaven, I take that as a license to imagine it how I want to. Thanks for the encouraging words, Brother!!

  3. Josiah
    July 20, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Hi Doug,
    Found your blog, I’ve truly enjoyed reading your posts. I know what you mean about the “rollercoaster”. It’s my personal perspective that God loves watching our faith grow. I’ve been through dry, flat times if you will, three decades of hills and valleys. I hear the call of your heart, why must the joy of His powerful revelations ebb and flow? Why can’t they be constant? Maybe because He knows our frame and that in our finite state, we would tire of the rollercoaster hills after prolonged exposure?

    Or, if I may offer my own analogy, it’s like holding onto an electrical fence. The current isn’t constant, it flows through in pulses. The “zaps!” are intense and it locks your muscles so that you’re unable to break away. Waiting for the next electrocution is dull comparatively speaking. But faith develops perseverance and perseverance brings about maturity (James 1:2-8). So follow your quoted verse Hebrews 11:6, seek God earnestly, sincerely and diligently and He will by all means shock the hair off your head!! Oh wait, He already did!! I kid, I kid 😀

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